3 comedians who have inspired me to not be a comedian.

All comedians are funny, but some are way funnier than others. My philosophy on the amount of funny that comes out of a comedian is based on his or her childhood or young life. The harder it was, the funnier they are now. If their life was pretty much made (non-Jewish), they're not as funny. There isn't much to support this argument, but its about 95% accurate.

Now there are three people who were either Jewish or had a hard life, or both. These people are George Carlin, Bill Hicks and Lenny Bruce. I am neither Jewish, not grew up in a bad part of Chicago or NYC (yes there's a bad part, there's always a bad part) or any city, roughing it everyday on the streets.

Lenny Bruce being searched by the 5-0

Lenny Bruce was funny. He was someone that no one would feel comfortable listening to his albums with (like parents). But his life just really sucked growing up as a comedian. With drugs and stuff like that, it's not something that anyone would want to go through to be talking in front of a crowd at Carnegie Hall. Unless their into that sort of stuff, but it's not favorable. Lenny Bruce was also Jewish, which somehow is a boost to being funny for anyone, I'm not sure how.

George Carlin's life sucked very much as well. Even in his book, Last Words, he describes how bad his life got with drugs and how he, his wife and child went rock-bottom as he was starting out as a comic. Although he was not Jewish, he was one of the funniest Irish-Catholics OF ALL TIME.

Bill Hicks was just the guy that was really crazy and would win in a debate tournament with a Nobel Prize, but he'd probably get disqualified for racism, profanity and having offended every living person. Also having a mullet isn't the most popular hairstyle today. He's also not the most liked person at all. Even people who like him, don't like him.

So there's three comedians that have inspired me to never pursue the career of comedy. It's not worth it.

Cops don't like bikes.

Cops don't like bikes, and bike cops don't like cops (in a car). Not that I have a personal dislike of cops, they're actually really cool, only if you're cool with them. Or you could say something like "call detective X" when you get pulled over and have your relative come to the rescue. It doesn't always happen like that. So here's what happened

As I was riding down San Jacinto Blvd. a few weeks ago on a Sunday morning to grab some coffee that was made by some hipster on the street corner, I noticed that there was one of those signs that read "PARKING $5000" in my lane. So I had to make a decision. I would have to cut off a car (which is what I should've done, because they're all texting anyway), or hop the curb and get back in the bike lane. I like hopping curbs, and there wasn't anyone on the sidewalk, so it was safe. And suddenly, I heard someone scream as if they had just been shot. It was a cop. My coffee is long gone. So I get off of my bike in my spandex and wobble over (cycling shoes are for cycling) to the cop like HE did something wrong. I told him why I hopped the curb and said a joke and that was really it. Nothing of me showed up in their "database" anyway. No ticket, no warning, no problem. Plus, it's not like anyone would have some kind of warrant for hopping curbs around the city. But pedicabs are different, nobody likes them. Also the people that move slower than walking speed on their bikes, they're different too.

If the city is going to keep pushing towards a bike-friendly environment, keeping the bike lanes clean would've prevented the posting of this blog.

The breakfast taco.

It's no secret that Austin is the breakfast taco hub in the United States, maybe even the world (maybe). But there's something that very few have ever wondered, which hobo on SOCO thought of that?

         To clarify everything beforehand, it's breakfast TACO, not burrito, unless you're from NowhereLand where the eggs come from powder and you still can't decide whether to get the green sauce or red sauce.
So the breakfast taco, it's said to have come from miners in Mexico as the word "taco" was something that was used to blow up mines. It makes sense when you can see a taco that's filled with, well whatever you put in it.  but Austin seems to have claimed it today and that's that. But why? Food trailers are the answer. Food trailers are everywhere and they all somehow sell breakfast tacos. There's about 588 restaurants that pop up on yelp that sell breakfast tacos in Austin and there's probably twenty more trailers, like the ones that open at midnight and fill up quick. So how did they get here? Well it started out with places like Arandas and then across the street popped up a Torchy's Tacos which then evolved into a line of Airstreams claiming to be the most hipster and then the "taco" in taco sort of lost it's style. It's now a gluten free, vegan and 100% organic farm raised piece of, well you get the idea. The tacos are different, but not too different. There's still pioneers in breakfast tacos that remain on the streets of Austin and so far they're original. So just as long as a taco is still called a taco, everything should go fine.