Is being a local such a bad thing?

As I was walking in Whole Foods today buying organic organics in the organic section, I noticed a man who was wearing a shirt that read "I AM A LOCAL" in bold letters and then had a clothing company's name in Austin along the bottom of the shirt. And I guess it's something to be proud of, but the way it was worn by that guy made it look like everyone else would say something like "Yeah, so what?". Or how everyone else encourages others not to move here with the most pretentious intentions. But it's really not such a bad thing. So many people come to Austin and what are you going to do about it? Get over it. Austin is no longer a secret. Because of all this, being a local isn't really a big deal.There's at least 700,000 people who are just like any other local in Austin. It's almost the same as saying you're a local in New York City; it doesn't entitle you to anything at all.

They're not even locals yet.

And it's so hard to not be a local when you are a local and other "locals" are doing things that actual  locals have been doing forever. That's when you spot a fake local.

Fake local: (Noun) - Someone who claims to be a local to a city when they've only been living for less than ten-ish years, or has the newest area code, or cannot pronounce street names correctly, or is a student living in a city only for school.

And for being an adult, and voting and stuff now, I still don't think I'm really a local. And you know what else, no one is really a local. For it to be true, you can only really call yourself a local in the final seconds before your death. Only then can people recognize it and spot a true local. It's like saying you're on the distinguished plan in high school, but still on the recommended plan until the very last day when a counselor will decide whether or not that student meets the requirements for being on the distinguished plan. Same deal.

So the next time someone calls themselves a local, you'll know that they're faking it.