The worst feeling in the world

This was freshman year, I'll never forget it. I had just been entered into AISD's system with my name spelled backwards and had chosen all of my classes for the year. Straight out of private school, this was going to be easy. I was totally right. Well I guess freshman year was easy for everyone, but I can only remember it as being a time of going to school, coming home and having more free time than a housewife.
One class I had taken that was a prerequisite for seniors at the time was Business Information Management (BIM). It was a pretty useful class and I learned a lot from it. The entire class was taken on a computer in a room filled of computers and computers only. No one talked in that class and no one knew each other. The seats we sat in on the first day were our seats for the entire year and I was stuck sitting next to the dumb girl. She didn't talk to me, played loud music, and belonged at Crockett High School (like a 2003 Crockett High School). 

I also had the worst feeling in the world whenever she walked in and sat down. This was because she copied everything I did. Not my style or anything, no one can copy that. But she copied everything I did in that class to be creative. Whenever it came to making a cool brochure or a sweet powerpoint, she would eye her way onto my screen and do the exact same thing. How did I know this? Because I would eye my way back onto her screen. So everyday of my freshman year I would have to get to that class early to tilt my screen out of her vision, but not so much that it's obvious. It was the first real time someone had stole my ideas, and this one was right in front of me. It's not like my work was going to Newsweek or anything, but they were my ideas. And I've heard it all before, "you aren't going to get anywhere complaining about your stolen ideas, so let them steal". So one day  I stopped complaining about my ideas being stolen and did something about it.
I broke her nose.
No I didn't really do that, but instead I started to bring one of those plastic tinted screens you would find at a bank to class. She eventually failed and maybe didn't even graduate, but that was the last time she ever stole an idea from me.

How To: Texting Etiquitte and other rules

In this segment of How To, I will be covering the basics of things I believe everyone should know and how to approach things in public because there are just too many people who don't know how to tie their shoes, but even more that can't have a normal conversation. But anyway, here are some things I thought long and hard of that you should know.

1. If you see someone in public, you don't have to talk to them. 
There's always a time when you're at an event or buying egg nog or whatever (it's already in stores), and you'll run into someone you only kind of know. Here at Elias & Friends it happens all the time. But you always feel like you have to talk to them about how they're doing or what they're doing or talk even though you've never talked before. Well guess what, all you have to do is say hello and that's it. They probably don't care to talk to you anyway so grab your egg nog and get the hell outta there!

2. The "person is typing" bubble does not entitle you to a message back. 
There was the "Read at" and "last seen" and then there's the typing bubble you'll see on iPhones. Believe it or not, there's no way they didn't read your text even if they opened it and read your message. So if you send a message and they read it, almost send something back, but don't, oh well.

3. A dinner is a date, a movie is not.
Sixth grade was a long time ago, it's time to set some higher standards. Now, this applies to more of a first date thing. I mean you're not even looking at the person. I can do that with someone for free. We'll just sit in chairs looking at a wall for a few hours and call it a date.


4. If you're going to text and walk, don't walk.
Whenever I see someone walking and texting at the same time, I can't feel sorry for them if they run into a wall. They're so slow, they hog up other people's walking space and assume we're going to move out of their way. If you're going to text and walk, do it out of the walking traffic. Quick texts are okay, long conversations are not.

5. There's a cutoff time for starting a conversation.
Whenever you decide to start a conversation texting another person, you have to remember the texting cutoff times. Sure, you could send someone a text at 3am asking whats up, but it would make you look a little weird. Only unless you know that person is awake, then you can start a conversation. But the cutoff time to start chatting is 11:30pm. And texting conversations may only last up to one hour (consecutive) or ten messages sent. Any longer than that you might as well call them. Weekends cutoff time is midnight.

6. If they're in your contacts, you must say hi.
Social media or contacts in your phone is not some other world you live in like Avatar, so if you see someone you know and they're in your contacts or connected through social media in some way, you can't snub them and keep walking. You can either talk, or refer to rule #1.

An Open Letter to Doormen

Dear Doormen,

Hi, my name is Elias and I am contacting you regarding your friend, another doorman. I did not have such a great experience with you guys and I now have mental anguish because of it. It's really not that bad, and I'm not going to commit any hate crimes against doormen, but I see how you guys are now.
Like for one, I know you always need a tip, but there's a limit on how much I can tip you.

For example, when you take my bags to my room, why do you expect me to be so generous as to give you a crazy tip that will make you quit your job? If everyone gave you twenties you'd be making more money than me. It also depends where you are located to be a doorman. If you're in Austin, the minimum tip amount I believe you should be receiving is no less than five dollars and no more than ten dollars as the maximum tip amount per bag per trip to the room. This is only in luxury hotels, no La Quintas.Unless it's Christmas and I'm Donald Trump, you're not getting any twenties from me. I can carry my own bags thank you very much. I hope I'm not offending you, it's just that you're a bit more needy than I am and as guest, we don't really need much except maybe the pass code to the swimming pool and what channel HBO is on. There are only certain instances in where I would be provoked to give you more. For example, if a doorman has some sort of nice conversation with me or just looks like a cool guy and we share a laugh, of course I cant leave him hanging there with five bucks.

When it comes down to it, you guys aren't much different from your distant valet parking cousins who take care of your car, which I think is a lot more important than rolling a suitcase. Now those guys carry much more value to me than doormen. Sorry, but they do and you know it's true. It's for a much shorter time and you don't really see them, but deep down you have a greater trust in them than most people which in turn if you're not the valet guys from Ferris Bueller, I can show a greater appreciation for. It's not you, it's me. So the next time we meet, I hope you'll remember these things, and just be cool with it. I know it's your job, but that doesn't mean make it a job. Just hold the damn door.

With Much Thought,

Your Favorite Hotel Guest, Elias