Finding the right one for me

Have you ever been looking and looking for the right one for you but can't ever find it? You're not alone. This happened to me when I was at H-E-B today (crowned the best grocery store in the US). I was looking for some good avocados to make some guac and plant some pits, which is putting the "seed" in the water. I have about seven sitting on my window sill now, no green yet. But anyway, I can never find the perfect avocado or any fruit for that matter. They're always too hard or too soft and never just right. It takes real skill to do this and a skill many learn as adults or never learn at all. Being on the not-so-strict vegan diet I am on (had beef fajitas for lunch) I know my way around the produce section. Here's how to do it. Not too hard, not to soft, but lean towards a softer one. If you can't tell the difference, well you just might want to stop reading right now. Here's also some advice on bananas, where I also can never find the right one for me. They're almost always green with more green than yellow. Unless you stumble upon the 50 cent bag of ripe, brown spotted bananas, then buy those immediately. But when looking for the right bundle of bananas, it doesn't matter how pretty they look because you shouldn't be eating them when they're a clean yellow. Why? Well because they're not ripe and taste bad, which is probably why you don't eat bananas in the first place. Eat them when they're spotted because they taste a lot better then, have more alkaline in them, and look a lot better inside. No, they're not bad if they're bruised, you just have a fruit problem, and I just diagnosed you. So when it comes to looking for the right one in your life, just wait, they'll be ripe soon enough.

Pizza is the national food of ME

Sorry to Naples, Italy, but we sort of own the pizza. I know that pizza was originated in Italy and when you think of pizza, you think of the Italian flag and "Italian style" pizza with the New York pinch of flavor, coming from all of the Italian immigrants of course (thanks), not George Washington and a bald eagle, but it's ours. I noticed this the other day while I was buying my weekly suit and thought what the real food of our country is. The first few things were the hamburger, pizza, funnel cake, weight loss pills, and ice cream. I then scientifically narrowed these down to hamburger and pizza. How is that? Well it's simple. I asked a random group of 20,000 people of which food they prefer. 38 percent said they like Hamburgers and the other half said they want some pizza. And when you think about it, when has any class had a hamburger party? Never. Because pizza is easy to make, eat, and throw in the fridge for tomorrow. There's also not a pizza flavored hamburger, but there's a hamburger flavored pizza. Or when it's Friday and you say, "hey what are we gonna eat tonight?" And then someone says "lets get pizza!" I also researched the amount of pizza shops versus the amount of burger joints in Austin, TX and there's more hamburger joints than pizza, unfortunately. Well, I at least like pizza. So it's the national food of me I guess. But don't worry, I eat healthy too, and so should you. Maybe a veggie pizza would fix that. With gluten free bread too because I once ate gluten free bread and woke up looking like all three Jonas brothers. 

 eating healthy

A Bloem (That means Blog Poem)

This is a Bloem, a poem on a blog. That also means that it can only make less sense (from what poems are already). 

On a Thursday Night, it's thundering, no fright, I just might make some tea.
But Me? Make some tea? No siree! I am a man and a man makes.. Coffee.
But Coffee? That's not me. I kinda like tea. Only Green.
And that means tomorrow's Friday, Friday is my day, hay day, make way for me, Friday. Anyway.
Is a dog brown if it's a down clown ready to go to town to buy a crown, my dog, he's brown. And the brown is soft, not the brown but the dog, the dog likes no fog for he sleeps in a log. No dog likes to jog in fog.

I woke up drank some not tea, and I flee and all of a sudden I see! Someone? No that's me. In  the mirror. I must've been staring in the mirror. It kills so much time I just, wait. Did you hear that? The Thunder #Thunder. Clash mag in a slumber at most can I have your number?
And don't forget! Plantains, avocados just right, and plums with red on the inside with no cucumbers. But what do they look like on  the outside and no cucumbers? Yeah no cucumbers, on that post in a Tumblr. No cucumbers!
Hey! Little Girl! On the curb! Hand me that snowcone on the ground! It's still fresh, no joke. But watch out don't choke, there's a roach in it! Just kidding just hand it, to me he spoke.
Anyway, the rhyme has come to a close, as I must pick up some clothes, from the cleaners, my gold suit and my jeaners and please no pictures for my eyes have got no fixtures. My glasses I mean I do them on the lean, for free, they're clean and that ain't no LIE.