Moses and his Backdoor Etiquette |
Numero Uno) Thou shant snub thy neighbor.
Whenever it comes thy time for thou neighbor to trot down a way of halls, it is appropriate to toss adieu and a courtesy to thy neighbor if thy neighbor is in thy contact list. If thy neighbor is connected through facebook, twitter, slapchat, or friendster, it is also appropriate. Such failure to abide by this is frowned upon and thou shall be berated by thy aunt and thy uncle.
Rule Two) If thy neighbor is sending messages of text to thy iPhone past a time of worth for you to reply, it is always important to not "like" any content on websites that thy neighbor would be able to search and find that you might have liked another neighbor's content. Such act would cause thy neighbor to feel butthurt and ask how you are able to like pictures when your time of worth for content is up. If this conflict arises, it is appropriate to either not reply and go to sleep, or pretend to go to sleep and continue to like content, disregarding thy neighbor that is attempting to contact you.
3) When time comes for you to attend a dinner or event that was invited to you through facebook, such invitation through facebook is already regarded as a lazy invitation. If there is no attire pointed out in the invitation, it does not mean that you are required to wear formal attire. Even if it is a wedding and you were invited through facebook (especially weddings), it is only appropriate for you to show up in a tank top and board shorts because you rightfully acknowledged the invitation.
1 + 2 + 1) When you stumble upon a diner of any such, you might be given a waiter or waitress that doesn't offer you coffee at least every 15 minutes, it is acceptable to tip in pocket change. Also, if the waiter or waitress asks if the food is good and it really isn't, it is OK for you to say that the food isn't great and blame it on the busboy who might be picking up the table behind you.
Five Five Five) If a time arises where you are needed to wear a college tshirt and you aren't planning on going there, you have two options. You lie or you lie. You tell everyone who even glances at the shirt that you will be attending the school and have gotten at least up to $100,000 of scholarship money from that school. Rumors will spread, and you will become a sensation.
Page 48 of Backdoor Etiquette |
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